Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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