we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
