I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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