highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize