dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
