Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well you can't waste a boner
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
