He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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