That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
