Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
