Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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