What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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