I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How does one acquire holy water?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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