I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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