how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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