I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
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i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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