If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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