I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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