Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
