Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
