Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize