She is in my trunk
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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