She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
