Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
