As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
