I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
