Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
