absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
