Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
