I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
