i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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