never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
