i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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