now i know why i became what i already was.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
