That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just forgot I was standing up.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
