No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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