If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize