Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
