He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
