you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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