not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize