mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
