I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
