Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
