we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
