My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The air taste purple.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
