This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize