..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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