WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
