VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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