You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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