Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
