....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
