woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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