Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
