onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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