Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
What a dumb baby whore.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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