Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize