Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
