are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
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If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
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Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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