when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
