I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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