we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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