He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
