My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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