this just has baby written all over it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
