distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I need water and some morals
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